Movies gives us the impression that everyone is understanding, no matter how offensive words become, how hateful people turn out, there's always humor in life and everything works out in the end. the end, happily ever forever or whatever.
How is that ever our life?
I can't even relate to it in the most significant way..
I think Star Wars was closer to home rather than 'How I met you mother'..
Nobody has that perfect combo.. Yes we plan things and it could turn out as great as that routine of seeing your friends and talk and share and experience being dumb..
But then life hits us hard.. theres hospital bills, emergencies, accidents, family problems, getting ill, moving away, getting fired.. broke. I think that is fantasy, why? because I dreamed of one day having that kind of lifestyle, which is hell impossible.. never gonna happen.. just nope.
So back it all up.. I have this gutsy feeling.. that I hate problems.. I hate having to work things out, you might hate me and say that's harsh or cruel or inhumane, but peeps.. psychologically it's not surprising due to the fact that people just dump their problems at me, I'm not saying it's not ok, I do feel wanted, or needed or along that line but, then what.. they go around with their own buddies for happy time?
Do I not deserve happy time with you? Do I not deserve happyness?
Why do always have to match my time and effort to everyone elses?..
I have younger relatives like most of everyone, but does everyone have to manage your time to fit in your younger relative's schedule? Why am I treated like a child when the younger ones are treated fairly better..
Its not far for me to complain about it,
but I just don't have a pillar to lean on anymore,
Every night I feel empty, but depressed and I just look up to dear lord.
I just need to be hugged,
Just a good tight, arms tangled hug.
A smile would be nice too, just smile at me and say
'You're doing great, everything is gonna be Okay'
'You're trying very hard, you're doing a good job'
'You're fine, It's ok'
'You havent cried for so long, are you sure your fine'
.....
Family matters
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