I don't know how this goes..
What goes? I'm just gonna write what I want for this one
Where does this lead me
Every day it seems I'm too slow, relentlessly people around me have been giving me advice. Words cannot explain how thankful I am, I love and treasure them for that. How can I make it up to them? For someone who's soooo new to this part of an illusive impugnment world. Its been 3 months since I jumped into this vast unblending crimson and cerulean pool of wordplay. I've been making countless mistakes..
Improve step by step they said, Mum said, that voice behind me said. I always tell myself each morning.
Mom Dearest
Realising my mum's love. How to appreciate it? I've been coming home so late and exhausted almost every waking day.. Can't stop that addiction of midnight phone 'toggling' or that late night awesome show. Just 'record' it I tell myself. To my dismay when is it alright for me to actually watch it? Weekends are just too overrated.. Its the only time for all of us to rest and enjoy some lazy dazey day. Holidays are spent with 'crazier then life' relatives, visits and frilly weddings, lots and lots of weddings.. I'm not gonna lie, I do wonder when will the time come for me to wear those expensive, fragile, delicate, death defying dresses. All I need now is a groom. Guess he just got lost in the Forest of Never Return.
Have you ever?
Have you ever texted a total stranger and it gets even stranger that you would actually find them interesting and wishes to meet up, maybe for dinner or a casual date. HAH! Life is shockingly about self-control and rationality. Don't believe me? I've been trying to hint him about going out, he gives tiny hopes and possibilities. I tried so freaking hard to grasp them but then he just brushes it off like a lil annoying fly, SPLAT! With a rolled up magazine about cheap gadgets. *sigh* it still is a work in progress. Maybe I will just have to try extra harder. This dude really tests my patience, for your information I'm a pretty patient person... Just don't be one of those people who takes advantage on my generosity, I'll never forget you.. See... Self-control and rationalism.
Funny Insecurity
Who doesn't have an insecurity... face it we aren't perfect, though this has nothing to do with that.
I love to read online articles or anything mostly about women. Of course cause I'm a woman, I'm sorry new world, I will not conform to the 'trending' gender being all kinds of unicorns and fantastic beasts. and as the community demands respect, I will also demand respect for my views. BTW This is different, ain't even close cause these materials mostly have visuals of sensual or provocative women posing in them, wearing less 'drapery' then the usual human being would most of the time. I'm afraid if people in this office might think I'm into this kind of things, or whether my preferences are more towards men or women. Of course I'd feel even more insecure about all this mumbo, I happen to like to see these photos too *kinda* I'd think of what a crazy pretty girl SHE is or wow, her skin is so nice, what does she use or are those real?, that's pretty or that's not, is she crazy or does she realise the world is looking at her. And the #1 thought that always pops up in my mind, ' I wish I had a body like that so that I can wear nice clothes like jeans or skirts and look good. Its an insecurity, a motivation, a fashion info.. Its a tell all for a girl who is in the dark about these stuffs. Judge if you will, and I will still breath fine tomorrow.
